College

So, we’ve been in college for a bit.

Everyone’s life is different, but you’ve been hearing about mine for like 3 years, so here’s a little bit more about me, specifically.

I didn’t go to a college with many other smathers. As far as I know, I am actually the only one on campus.

At first, I thought smath ruined me.

I can’t talk to these people. These normal people, who play lacrosse and football and major in Economics and don’t get my quantum mechanics jokes, who think that this is a challenging workload and are adjusting to living away from home and can’t share space. These are normal people, and I’m not normal, and it’s like we speak two different languages and Rosetta forgot to come out with a stone edition.

Well, that’s not true, strictly speaking. I can talk to them. I do talk to them. I have friends.

I just don’t like them the way I like my smath friends. The way I liked my smath friends. It feels wrong to even call these people my friends.

It’s actually really weird. Even though I don’t go to school with them, I stay in contact with my fellow unicorns. We videochat, we text, we call, we skype. We still talk about things going on at NCSSM, about whether it’d be weird for us to visit now, about the politics of the school and the school in politics (west campus is coming, no matter how much we alums think the money should just go to expanding east campus because west campus would be so much worse and there’s a mental health crisis but we aren’t a mental health hospital we’re a school and apparently so and so professor is doing this and that and this student is going to that college and oh my gosh we HAVE to go back for graduation but oh no I’m busy that weekend and so on).

So, my first assumption was that NCSSM ruined us. Two years clumped together, and suddenly, we no longer fit into the outside world. The ones who go to school with other smathers seem to hang out with each other. I, alone, try to use technology to retain that connection. We had been turned into outcasts, comfortable only among ourselves. We had unintentionally pushed out that part of us that makes us human in an attempt to squeeze in enough to call ourselves unicorns.

And then I realized the truth.

This is what my friendships felt like before. In 9^th and 10^th grade. This is what it felt like – when they were my friends, but I hated them. When I spoke and they didn’t understand. When I laughed until I cried and then realized that I was the only one laughing.

I realized that NCSSM did not ruin me.

It was just a special place, where my weirdly shaped piece fit with other weirdly shaped pieces to make a weirdly shaped puzzle that I called beautiful. And that isn’t all smathers, that’s me. There are a lot who are now happy where they are. There are those who are fitting in perfectly. There are many who are learning how to fit in, and are changing, bit by bit, as they need to. I’m like that. My shape remains weird, but it’s beginning to twist in new places. It’s learning to bend where others bend, to fit in and make a rectangular puzzle.

 

What’s good in the past, my memory makes beautiful, and what’s bad, my memory makes tragic. As I look back, I don’t believe that I would ever give up those two years. I would not give up the friendships I made, the classes I took, the stress, the roommate conflicts, the check calls and loops and 4^th west and sweat raining from the ceiling and absurdly named clubs. From the outside, I’m fitting in pretty well. I’m doing fine in my classes, I’m engaged in extracurriculars, and I don’t want to go back to smath. I don’t miss it.

But I look back at it, and I love it. I know that I made the right choice to come. And a lot of wrong choices there, and a lot of wrong choices before, and I’ve made a LOT of wrong choices at college. But those two years were great years.

But hey, if you don’t believe my memory, read for yourself.

 

Oh, I almost forgot.
Congratulations, NCSSM Class of 2018, and Happy (Belated) Welcome Day.

We Made it Fam

I know that I don’t post often and that really sucks for those of you out there. However, if you’re a current smath student, you should be too busy living your life to have time to read this.
I graduated. I did it. It doesn’t feel real and it felt so odd not to come back from extended yesterday. I’m not afraid to go to college or anything. I’m afraid to leave everything behind. Yes, I was not a straight ‘A’ student. I made some bad choices. I lost sleep. I cried a lot. The food was crap. The work was hard. But, the people were worth it. If I could do it over again, I would choose science and math. This school has given me the chance to grow and find myself. Additionally, I found life long friends. They were people that allowed me to truly be myself. They were people that I could communicate with in just noises. I’m not worried about never seeing my best friends. I’m worried about never seeing those random kids in the hallway who brightened my day with just one look, that one dude who was in my calc pod, or my physics partner that I used to cry with. I will never be able to sit in Dr. Miller’s office to contemplate life. Nor will I be able to sled down the soccer field on a trash can lid.
Science and math was a struggle, but it has been the most rewarding experience of my lifetime. I could go on and on, but no words can truly express the gratitude that I feel (also, I’m very lazy). Part of me wanted to stay forever, but part of me couldn’t wait to come home. I’m not sure what I want, but I’m glad that smath happened. Sitting there on Watt’s Lawn, getting that diploma from JTodd, and moving out still seem surreal. Those last few days at smath were some of the best days of my life. They are days you tell your juniors about all year, but they come and go very quickly. If you are lucky enough to be accepted to smath, you should go. If you go, never take it for granted. It often feels so normal that you forget that you are at one of the best high schools in the country. Smath is a truly unique experience.
I’m sorry for the bad writing and all, but I just felt as though I needed to give closure to this blog. I know that a lot of you are wondering who we (the bloggers) are, but we decided to add our identities to the countless secrets that smath holds.

SeeTheDusk Part II

I wrote this post originally after 2nd tri, and I explain why, but I wanted to save it to post after I graduate in case I wanted to add anything, and honestly, there wasn’t much. A few edits to phrasing here, a cut there to add a few sentences and ruin the flow, but honestly, not much changed. Also, I completely forgot about this post until someone posted on the class page asking who wrote this. So, thanks!

So, I know I posted SeeTheDusk, and that was supposed to be my last post. It was, I promise. But I felt like I left a lot out. Like, maybe, all of senior year. But the truth is, by senior year, I was thinking a lot less about Science and Math, and a lot more about college. But I figured I should still do something, still say something. Well, actually, I just saw co2017.wordpress.com, and it reminded me and it was late at night and I was feeling nostalgic and it touched my heart that flamencoangel carried on the legacy enough for someone to continue after her.

1) Sophomores look really young. Like I see you guys visit. You’re so cute. You look about ten years old. No offense. Actually, I completely see how that could be taken offensively, so… it’s a joke. Please don’t take it too personally.

2) This is the really important part.

Don’t get me wrong. I know student ambassadors who have quit their posts because they felt like they couldn’t lie to prospective students and say that this was a great place, that the sophomores should come here. There are people who feel that strongly. There are people who leave because they hate it. There are people who leave because they can’t handle the academics, or the homesickness, or just feel like it’s a better decision.

For me, attending NCSSM was easily the best decision of my life. I’m still just as screwed up emotionally, a few rice purity points lighter, probably a good dose weirder, and definitely less aware of the fact that I’m weird. I now know that I’m bad at math and a compulsive suck-up. But the social experience alone made it worth all of the all-nighters, the 8AMs, the ban on cars, the Saturday morning restricted study, the questionable cafeteria food, the curfews, and the dumb rules. The people there, the people I met, the people I loved at first sight and the people I learned to love, the people I hated, and the people who I never met but just heard about, they all made it worth it. It was the experience, not the academics.

Realizing how subconsciously elitist I really am. Seeing other kids who aren’t like me, but who really are was worth the 8AMs. Not only going to class, but eating and sleeping with my best friends was worth not being able to drive. Insisting that Hill has the worst halls on campus. Learning book lessons in a classroom, and life lessons in a hall lounge. Feeling self-conscious when they find this blog and read excepts aloud, and then don’t even remember that it happened a year later. Sketching with my senior sister. Concocting elaborate lies about my family. Embarrassing myself over and over and over again. Seeing the school fail its students, and seeing the students fail the school. Breaking rules and being ready to accept the consequences. Coming into a campus of legends and seeing them fall into oblivion as a new junior class knows none of their names. Accepting that I am not a legend. Being scared to go to college because, yeah, college is going to be so much freer and cooler and just BETTER but I don’t want better. I want this. Not forever. I don’t want to relive them. I don’t wish they happened a second slower. I don’t really even know what I want.

I’m just glad they happened. I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

Actually, the world’s a pretty good deal. I’d probably take the world. But you get the point.

My Biggest Mistake

I’ve made a lot of mistakes since I’ve gotten to smath. But they all seem minuscule in comparison to this one. I should not have gotten so close to my senior class. They were the most wonderful people that I have ever met. I knew (or at least recognized) most of them. Everyone was nice and willing to help. The seniors on my hall never failed to brighten my day, make me laugh, or give advice. After extendeds we reunited like we hadn’t seen each other in years. During extended we were in constant touch. The night before graduation we cried. We cried right before their last check, during their last housekeeping, or even when we just looked at each other during the last day. Then, they left. It was scary. It was sad. It was the worst experience of my life (and trust me that’s saying something). Then I moved in for my senior year. I missed my seniors but knew I’d be okay without them. I wanted to be a great senior to my juniors because I wanted them to have the relationships that I had. But it hasn’t worked, yet. People keep telling me that it’s only the first week, but at this point last year I had already developed meaningful relationships. My hallmates were my best friends. They still are. But I haven’t connected with my juniors well. It may sound like I am hung up on my seniors and give the juniors a chance, but I did give them a chance. That’s all I’ve done the past week (if you think a week is a short amount of time check out my post about smath time and you’ll understand). I’m done trying. I don’t hate them or even dislike them. I haven’t connected with them. They prefer to stick to their class. They find us intimidating. They are already cliquey (thanks to the lovely Facebook). They came to school with pre-existing friends. I know that I’ll have a different relationship with my juniors, but it won’t be as meaningful. Every junior I’ve met is great, but we haven’t made that connection that all smathers have. Smath kids are just different from everyone else and I don’t see that in this class. This post probably sounds terrible, but my seniors were great. I wish I could stay in my junior year forever. My juniors are great too but I wish they’d open up to my class.

The First Week (Or Two)

Hello Friends!

I move in tomorrow! I’m so excited, but also not so excited because the pfm, schoolwork, and college apps. But I’m not here to rant, this post actually has a purpose! This is mainly geared towards my baby junes so they know what to expect in the first few weeks.

So basically, seniors are divided into 3 groups to move in. RLAs moved in on Sunday to begin their RLA training with RLA week. The rest of the leadership positions will move in tomorrow (Thursday) to start prepping for the school year (this includes student ambassadors, PCCs, MPCs, attaches, SPLs, smart bar, etc.). Senior Leadership week is pretty much involves meetings, icebreakers, training, and some cool activities. The rest of the senior class moves in on Monday which kind of sucks because classes start on Tuesday.

On Saturday, the juniors will move in. There is a move in schedule in the MyNCSSM portal. Basically, pull up to your designated area and the leadership students will do all the work for you. All I carried to my room last year was my bookbag (this year I will not be so lucky). Make sure you label all your stuff with your name, hall, and room number so students will know where to bring it. Move in junior year was pretty stress free and simple. Try to make a room floor plan with your roommate before you move in so if one of you moves in early furniture can be arranged without conflict.

Saturday will consist of other meetings with and without parents. At some point, your parents will leave. It is sad but you should be excited. Yet, it is also good to take the time for a proper goodbye. That evening there will be a picnic (it rained last year and was moved to the PEC) and an Ice Cream Social/ Dance. Yes, people will dance. I was extremely uncomfortable with that at the beginning of the year and left but this year I’m so excited (note the change smath had on my social skills). Also, you will meet so many people. It is really awkward because you have nothing to talk about. This is the average conversation:

Person 1: Hi, I’m Person 1.
Person 2: Hi, I’m Person 2. Nice to meet you.
Person 1: Where are you from?
Person 2: I’m from _. You?
Person 1:I’m from _.
Person 2: Oh I’ve been there. What hall do you live on?
Person 1:I live on _. You?
Person 2:I live on_.
Person 1:Oh I know _ who lives there.
Person 2:Are you excited for this year?
Person 1:Yea!
*Insert one of the following: awkward silence, a person leaving, or a new person arriving*

Trust me, I don’t remember any of the kids I met. I’m pretty sure I was introduced to the same people multiple times before we were able to remember each other.

The next few days are filled with boring meetings, fun activities, and placement testing (for juniors). There is also textbook distribution on Monday where every hall is given a specific time to pick up books from the book room (located in the PFM on the ground floor). You actually don’t have to follow the time slots because no one does. Getting there earlier means nicer books.
Note: I have no idea what I’ll be doing those first few days after junior move in.

Tuesday is the first day of classes so make sure you follow the TUESDAY timetable. It’s not that hard to get adjusted to the schedule but I recommend following your schedule and finding your classes a few times before Tuesday. No one will blame you if you’re late the first few days… or the rest of the year (most of my teachers didn’t really care). That night is convocation. People dress up, listen to speeches, and socialize.

There are plenty of activities the rest of the week and make sure to go to them to get exposed to the school (remember YOU control YOUR smath experience).

The first real weekend is the club fair and the t shirt signing dance. GO TO BOTH. There are so many clubs and don’t be afraid to join a ton; it’s no commitment. Dance your heart out at the dance (I didn’t dance…again). I still have my shirt though (DONT FORGET TO BRING A PLAIN WHITE SHIRT TO BE SIGNED!) and it’s surprising to see who signed it. The signing is a bit awkward because you still barely know anyone but your hallmates.

On Monday, there is all this mandatory summer reading stuff. There’s a speech and group sessions that are really boring. The group sessions are awkward and no one talks. I get to be one of those lucky leadership students leading a session and dealing with the awkward silence. Luckily, classes are shortened that day. This is also the juniors first day of Supervised Study (feels like I was in it forever ago). HAHA have fun not being able to use your laptops and sitting in a classroom for an hour and a half. But seriously, use the time to do work or study or get ahead in work. It forms a good habit. The day superstudy ends you get donuts and no one does homework because YOLO (please do your homework and don’t disturb the seniors doing homework).

Well that’s all I have to say about that.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE:
Make the most of every moment at smath. You’re only a junior/senior once so do it right. Participate in everything. Have fun. Don’t be antisocial. Yet, don’t lose sight of academics because ,yes, eventually you will have to apply to college. Feel free to let loose the first few weeks but build good habits (like studying) that will stick with you all year.

I’M SO EXCITED BUT NOT AT THE SAME TIME. THERE IS SO MUCH EMOTION IN ME FOR THIS NEXT YEAR. ALSO IF ANY OF MY SENIORS (CLASS OF 2014) ARE READING, I MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH PLEASE COME VISIT.

A Place with a Different Sense of Time

I have come to learn that NCSSM is a place where things occur at a different speed. Time actually flies. I mean there are times when class gets boring or there’s a night when there is nothing to do. For most of the time, though, time moves at a warp speed. I believe it is because each and every day is a new day. There are different activities (food runs, hall meetings, sporting events, club meetings, discussions, MLK activities, sustainable events, etc.) each day and your schedule varies each day of the week. It is very different from my life back home where everything was constant. In addition to all of that, relationships also move very fast. People who haven’t known each other for very long begin to date, best friends are made in the matter of a few hours, and these relationships can fall apart just as fast as they formed. This is because all the students live together; people are always surrounded by each other and it is hard to get a break from your peers. Students have the opportunity to spend a lot of time with each other and then can easily get fed up with each other. Everyday at smath is a totally new experience and you never know what you are in for. I can’t believe that half my smath career is already over and sooner than I want, smath will no longer be my home.

Senior Leadership Positions

I know this doesn’t really relate to the incoming class at this point, but I’d rather talk about it now before I forget!

Sometime in February we (juniors) received an email about Senior Leadership positions. These are positions that seniors hold all year and they count as work service. As you know, work service is 3 hours a week, but these seniors tend to put in more than that (especially RLAs).

The positions are: SPL, RLA, Attache, Student Ambassador, MPC, PCC, Smart Bar, and Library Liaison. As you can see, many of these positions use TLAs (three letter acronyms) because it becomes tedious to use the full title. Here is an explanation of every position:

SPL: Sustainability Project Leaders work with Dr. Warshaw. They promote sustainability around campus and host a variety of activities throughout the year. There are usually 4 of them.
RLA: Residential Life Assistants are like RAs in college. There are around 2-4 of them per hall. They plan hall activities, check housekeeping, and take check. This is one of the most competitive positions.
Attache: Attaches work in the Institutional Advancement department. They can deal with anything from fundraising (the Annual Fund), alumni, and legislature. The biggest event that they host is the Fund Run which is a competition among halls that culminates in the eating of a Vermonster. This is another competitive leadership position. There are usually around 20 of them. This upcoming year (2015-2016) there are only around 15. Ms. Carr and Ms. Shephard are the adults in charge of this.
Student Ambassador: Student Ambassadors work with incoming students. They are best known for giving tours of campus. In addition to this, they also work in the Admissions department. Their biggest events are open houses and Discovery Days. Rob Andrews and Mattie Gaddy are in charge of this position. This is another competitive position that holds about 20 students a year.
MPC: Multicultural Peer Counselors break the “Smath Bubble”. When students are on campus they are pretty sheltered from what goes on around the world. MPCs write the “Toilet Paper” that hangs in stalls and keeps students updated with news. They also hold monthly Tea Topics for discussion.
PCC: Peer College Counselors help students with college, scholarships and summer research opportunities. They work with the counseling department to send out newsletters.
Smart Bar: This is an area in the library that deals with tech issues. You can take your computer to the students who work there and they can usually help you out. This is also a junior work service position.
Library Liaison: Library Liaisons work in the library. They shelve books, clean up, and host activities. The librarians include Anthony Myles, and Robin Boltz. There is not a large number of liaisons.

Out of all the positions, RLA is the most coveted. However, each position is important to the function of the school. I do hold a leadership position and the application process was quite stressful. The process included interviews and a common application. I did not get the position that I wanted most. At the time, I was devastated, but now I am really happy with my position (I’m also and alternate for my #1 position). If you don’t get a leadership position, it is not the end of the world. Many teachers take TAs and there are other work service opportunities around campus. Leadership students do get to move in early as well as get the opportunity to be in the drawing for Junior Marshal (Random drawing among leadership students after the leadership results are released. It’s unfair, I know. It has nothing to do with being at the top of your class like it does at traditional high schools).

Everyone has their own opinions when it comes to each position and who should be selected for them. I know of students wanting to move halls for the sole reason that they don’t agree with the choice of RLAs. I know kids who were alternates and ended up getting the position. I know kids who got RLA on a different hall and took it because of the prestige in the position. But, I also know kids who gave up RLA on a different hall because they were too committed to their own hall. I know kids who gave up RLA because their roommate got it (RLAs can’t be roommates). I know of RLAs that worked well together. But, I also know of RLAs who were quarrelsome. I know of student ambassadors who hated waking up to go to open houses. I know of people who took PCC instead of attache. I know of people who were offered every position. I also know many people who weren’t offered any position. The leadership process isn’t considered fair. It’s said that if you’re a softball player or in NIA you get ambassador because Rob coaches and Mattie Gaddy is in charge of NIA. It’s said that if you are in DECA you get attache because Anna is the sponsor. Of course, there are many speculations, but in the end it comes down to the kind of student that you portray yourself to be. Interviews are important, but so are daily interactions with adults on campus. Take time to meet Anna Shephard, Lauren Carr, Rob Andrews, Dr. Warshaw, etc. Even if you aren’t applying for a position it is interesting getting to know the adults that work on campus (many of them attended smath!).

So that was long and rambly. As you can see, I’m a terrible writer and I got off track a lot (explains my AmStud grade).Hopefully, I explained positions pretty well.

Sorry

Hey guys. I’m sorry that I haven’t blogged in a very very very long time. I just never seemed to have the time or energy to write and I honestly wouldn’t have known what to say. I had a few lows this year and I didn’t want to write about them because I didn’t want to scare you off, but now I have a lot to talk about so I will definitely keep you guys updated and sorry if I repeat things that I (or another blogger) has already said in the past.

SeeTheDusk

This will most likely be my last post. Note that when I refer to seniors, I mean class of 2015. Juniors are class of 2016.

That’s my, SeeTheDawn’s, last post. Auriee and DuhBagel might continue to post, but for me, this is it.

1) I’ve seen Science and Math’s culture about recently-accepted (rising) Juniors. There are some 10-25 (rising) Seniors obsessed with the Junior class, posting like crazy and eager to talk to the Juniors. There are about as many Juniors eagerly trying to talk to seniors. However, there’s still like 30-40% of the class that, although not actively posting, is incredibly excited about getting Juniors. The campus was buzzing on April 4th, after the Juniors got in. There was a minor scandal about developing the facebook page; two were made, and we had to pick one. There were coups and social skirmishes over who got to run the page, and debate over who should be running junior-senior siblings. But it’s mostly cooled down; we’re just waiting for Welcome Day.

Then there’s the rest of the students, the ones who know people who dropped out or decided not to go or weren’t that excited about the school or didn’t care or hate the school or I don’t know what. These seniors don’t care about the juniors, and find everyone’s excitement to be childish and unruly and I don’t even know. If you couldn’t tell, I’m not one of them. But they’re there, and they criticize the excited ones, and they don’t care about the Juniors – until they show up next year. They don’t matter – until they show up next year.

But for the most part, the Juniors are in good hands. Most of the people who added themselves to the Seniors doc on the Facebook page are willing to be contacted, I think, and would be happy to talk to you. And many of us love to talk about Science and Math.

2) So far this month, we have had well over 2,000 views. The same happened last month. Duhbagel got a few emails. I’m guessing that Auriee did too. I got zero. In fact, the last time I got a message was the beginning of February. The last one before that was in December, from one of the NCSSM Journey 2016 writers in response to an email I sent. Additionally, I’m rather certain that Admissions knows who I am, not that it would be that hard to figure out, if they cared. I’m not doing anything wrong, so I’m not too worried, but I feel like my posts about when I was applying were what helped. My explanations of what life is like here are rather general to not outline my specific experience, but… honestly, everyone’s experience is different. It’s different applying, it’s different being accepted or rejected or waitlisted, and it’s different once you get here. I think that the majority of you guys connect with DuhBagel and Auriee more, so… I’m going to leave the posts to them and Dandylion905 and FlamencoAngel at NCSSMJourney2016.

So, this is it.

Good writing for you guys. Feel free to contact me if you ever need anything.

The wait-listing begins

fluffnpuffnpstuff asked:

Hi! I’m sorry, but I have no idea what the appeals essay is like and what the process is like. I’m not sure if it would be too forward to email the admissions committee and if you did, I’m not sure that there would be anyone to respond to it.

---

Hi fluff!

Sounds like you didn’t get accepted yesterday. I’m sorry to hear about that. But, not all hope is lost! I was rejected at first but got accepted through the waitlist. You write your appeal essay about why you firmly believe you should go to the school (more like a paragraph, since you’re limited on space) and they’ll announce whether or not you made waitlist finalist a few weeks later.  It isn’t until late May/early June that they start notifying those on the waitlist about being accepted. They fill in the spots immediately from people who decided to decline the residential offer, and slowly fill in the rest as others decide to leave. This continues all the way until the first extended weekend of school.

I didn’t email the admissions committee because personally, I didn’t think pleading to them would really make a good impression. Also, they generally respond quite slowly, and I probably wouldn’t have time to hear a response. Maybe I’m wrong. Nonetheless, I think the test of patience I had to deal with during the waitlist period was something that might have helped me. Maybe.  Even if it wasn’t,  it taught me a lot, like how much the acceptance really meant to me. (oh, the nostalgia.)

I had to publish this publicly because, unfortunately, your email is invalid. If you read through the archives there’s some personal and statistical blog posts about being a waitlist finalist. Feel free to email me for any other questions you might have, and we wish you the best of luck!

Admin Auriee